What is the thing I want the most?? BELONGING. It shows up everywhere in my lifeā€¦..my wanting of this elusive concept. The spiritually inclined say…..you have to belong to yourself and that is the solution. I don’t think that is the full story. I think we are a social animals and we need to have roles in our pack or tribe. I feel fragile in my existense in the web of humanity around me. I don’t have clarity on my “role’ and I recognize I am often surviving, not thriving. When I disagree or don’t want to do the thing people want me to,or speak my truth, I feel shunned. Cut off. Doors shut. Backs turned. Stairways to light and opportunity, baracaded. and am left alone to look at the gaping blackness of my not enoughness, my black-sheepness and my total inability to not feel like an inconsequential shit who couldn’t do life.