What is the thing I want the most?? BELONGING. It shows up everywhere in my lifeā€¦..my wanting of this elusive concept. The spiritually inclined say…..you have to belong to yourself and that is the solution. I don’t think that is the full story. I think we are a social animals and we need to have roles in our pack or tribe. I feel fragile in my existense in the web of humanity around me. I don’t have clarity on my “role’ and I recognize I am often surviving, not thriving. When I disagree or don’t want to do the thing people want me to,or speak my truth, I feel shunned. Cut off. Doors shut. Backs turned. Stairways to light and opportunity, baracaded. and am left alone to look at the gaping blackness of my not enoughness, my black-sheepness and my total inability to not feel like an inconsequential shit who couldn’t do life. No vaccine. No drugs including alcohol. No working for the system. No t.v. no media. No dogs. (except for Bambi, the love of my summer) Have fun socializing and being accepted, with those awkward truths! (just to name a few)