Wind And Waves

On my update………I lost all the Links! Such a variety I had. It is forever fascinating to me, what people are up to in their lives and the variety and depth of information that they compile for others. I’m working to find them all again. What a process. But I should have them posted by the end of the week…!

Its a mild one. Here it is: Do I, purchase my ink cartridges for my printer from lazermonks.com.  The company is comprised of monks who are earning money for their monastery and giving the rest of it to charity and whom (I’m told) operate with high integrity.   OR; do I buy my ink cartridges from a company that have a good deal going on right now for frequent flyer miles 10miles/$1 ???
Both of these options; I’m happy to report, are much cheaper than Target 🙂
I’ve very excited about earning enough frequent flyer miles for a free ticket to London.
What would you do? Spend your money with a company that values similar values that you have for yourself or get wrapped up in a marketing scheme……that gives you lots of miles!

I’ve been reading a lot about minimalism,earning a living online, buddhism, clearing your mind,understanding resistance….

Empowering and inspiring!

Check out the category Minimalist ideas on my sidebar.  There are some great sites I’ve been reading from the last couple of weeks.

Its funny, for some reason, I find myself wanting to keep them a secret……But that goes against the whole nature of it all!

So, here I sit because I got the nerve to ask the boss if I could leave early because I felt terrible. Really I did, despite my spirited blog entry (keep reading!). But strangely, just leaving- made me feel a lot better. curious. It is an unbelievable challenge for me, to ask to leave early! All sorts of fears race vividly through my (very busy) mind. What if they realize they don’t need me anyway, what if they start seeing that I’m the weak link, what if they view me as a sickly wimp.…on and on!  Sometimes being in my head is painful.

I was that kid at school who rarely took days off…….mostly because I was too scared to (I’ll miss the assignments, I’ll get behind, I won’t hear the lesson, I won’t be able to turn in my report……blah blah blah.) There was always a very good reason for me NOT to call in sick.  My mother, so wise and lovingly encouraged, me to take a sick day when I felt sick. ” I can’t” I remember protesting. In my little kid mind, the world revolved around that school day (and me) and things just may stop dead if I didn’t show up! 🙂

Luckily, my mom helped give me perspective.  Its not THAT important! Really! Just relax.  In a lot of cases, I think its the opposite lesson that mothers give there kids “No, you can’t stay home from school, your fine”  I always admired kids who were willing to stay home from school, no guilt attached.

Now that I’m a grown-up (or at least trying! (doesn’t mean that husband or kids are anywhere even remotely close to the horizon :-)) I don’t have my mom helping me, out so I have to call my own shots with no soothing confirmations.  So hard!  So, taking the night off tonight, was a bit of a victory, and of course, I’m trying to gently push any guilt, off to the side! I remember one time in Ithaca, New York where I was finishing college, I didn’t ask for the night off……and I should of!  I was a waitress and I was totally snotting and coughing and sneezing……poor customers.  ANd I thought I was doing good. Oops. You live and your learn, right? [Read more →]

Wow. I think maybe, for once, I can empathize with people who travel and don’t like It?  I’ve always loved it and coulndn’t for the life of me understand feeling any different.  In fact, I felt kinda envious of people didn’t like it.  What would it be like, to NOT want to ALWAYS travel?  To me, it sounds like a form of content!

Just now, I bring my own coffee mug to fill with coffee (saves trash)…..they think I’m totally weird and don’t know how to make an Americano in it.  They keep asking me how much water I want in it, meanwhile totally killing the fresh shot of esspresso in the mug and splashing it it, ruining any crema that was there. (I realize that in writing this, I’m sounding like a coffee snob but I do think that making an americano is an art form and when I’m paying two dollars for a small one, I like the barrista to see it as an art form as well!

I’m scattered digging in my bag for stuff, always.  Digging through this, through that, looking for a pen,a paper, my chapstick, my lotion.  Grrrrr

On the way to Florida, I sat between two fat people, one of whom was sniffling and clutching her sudafed box the entire plane trip.  I used to see plane trips as a wonderful chance to really get to know someone, this flight, and more recently, I’ve been putting out as many signals as I can for people not to talk to me.  This woman was keen to tell me about her life and I sure as heck did not want to open the flood gates! (when did I get so mean!)

I’ve having to change my pattern and eat breakfast before 9am. I dont’ feel myself bouncing around like usual, I feel out of rhthym.  I don’t want to eat that early, but then I’m starving later…..if I don’t.  Hmmm.  Usually holding Tattered Covered coffee cup to go is a wonderfully comforting experience for me but here and now, it is just tone of a million things I’m trying to balance and I’m always scared I’ll knock it over, its feeling more and more like a ball and chain.  But I want comfort! somehow, someway!

I have no patience lately for “new” people on the job.   I feel annoyed and wish they would just get it.  Usually I’ve extended a lot of empathy towards them.  Easy for me, since I find myself more often than not, the “new one on the job”

Maybe I’m finally growing up, since I’m having all these grown up feelings!  yikes.

More thoughts on Avatar later…….!